My Story

Suddenly, She entered into my life.
Suddenly, She liked me and started to make me fall upon me..
Suddenly, after that, she became the greatest gift of all.
Suddenly, she proposed me and make me think for a while.
Suddenly, I also feel something for her and fell in love with her.
Suddenly, I also need her more and more.
Suddenly, she was my everything.
Suddenly, I started to make memories with her.
Suddenly, she was irreplaceable.
Suddenly, I became depended on her.
Suddenly, I can’t do work or anything without her.
Suddenly, she became an important part of my life.
Suddenly, I took her for granted every time.
Suddenly, I became possessive.
Suddenly, she stops trying for me.
Suddenly, my world fell apart.
Suddenly, she gave me despair.
Suddenly, I feel lost without Suddenly, it’s over.
Suddenly, I would do anything to get her back.
Suddenly, she gave me hope.
Suddenly, I was forsaken.
Suddenly, she became my memory.
Suddenly, I started to face the reality.
Suddenly, I started to move on.
Suddenly, I understood there is no one who will understand me.
Suddenly, I found she has another bf.
Suddenly, I end to be in a relationship.
Suddenly, I began to write.
Suddenly, Many people loved me.
Suddenly, I was on the internet.
Suddenly, I was named as “Gatsby”.
Suddenly, She wanted to come back.
And that day ” I ignored her and I won the game”. 😊
#Stories

Did you lost a person who cared for you ?

Actually, the reality is you never tried And that is how you lost him.
You will remember the days when he cared for you. When he left everyone just to be with you just to make you feel better.
You will miss his useless talks, that unlimited phone calls, and messages.
You will miss how you pour out your heart to him and he never judged you by face, color or what you are.
You will regret the days you took him for granted. You will realize how he held your hand when everyone else left it. You will realize how much he believes in yourself and supported you in your thick and thins.
Finally, at some point, you will admit that there was nothing you did to make him stay. He accepted all your flaws and even appreciated them. He was just like a medicine but you choose to have a drug. You will crave for him, but now he is no more a toy you played with.
He never forced you to sleep with him, instead of that he always looked what you like and not.He made your wishes come true. He was there when you were in tears.
He walked out and you let him go. That is when you lost a person who cared for you.
PS: Vice Versa
#Stories

This is how our Story Ended

From next time when your heart will start to beat heavily, I will not be the reason. The next time when you will sit across the table at your favorite restaurant I will not be sitting beside you. The next time when you will text me to meet up for the last time in Basantpur I will not reply.
Now you should know that is how our story ends. No complains, or make outs. No happiness or meaningful relationships.Two people who were once together and but now are separated. Two people who once used to talk and message each other all day, but now cannot even see the text.
You, with your new boyfriend at the cinema hall, sitting next to him and me on my way to work hard. You traveling on a trip with him, and me in my room wondering where you could possibly be. You think about why I lose to give you time, why I didn’t wish you “Happy Birthday”, and me wondering why you could never give us a second chance. Now you should know that is how our story ends.
You should always know one thing that there was no “we”, and there could have never been an “us”. Our story was one-sided, unmanaged, unfinished and unsatisfactory. You cannot convince people to like you. You cannot clarify the reasons why you were busy because they never want to listen to you, because they have their own theory.
Our story ended with so many unspoken words and many unperformed actions. Our story ended with regret and pain. Our story ended in the worst possible way, and now we cannot do anything instead of closing our storybook.
We cannot think about what a second chance would give to us. We could not think about the late night’s chats or the coffee shop we could have gone to visit. We cannot think about meeting at lazy Saturday’s, or Friday nights at Club. Never mind the dinner dates and movie nights, for those will never come into existence.
Our story is now over. No new twists and no new turns. The plot can’t change and will not become any more or less complicated. There is no way where we will meet again in our life.
All you are to me is someone whom I always see in my people you may know.
Someone I don’t want to text, someone I don’t want to be with. And all I am to you is someone that still had hope for you and tried hard to get you back. Someone who loved you so much, who cared you. That is all we are to each other.
That is how our story ended. 😊
#Stories

Once She Was My life

It was 21st October 2014 when she was first introduced in my life.We met at our house.When I first saw her I was fantasies in her eyes, and her cuteness overloaded was the main attack which blew me away. Actually, I thought “She also liked me” when she came near me and started to stare at me.Her name was “Cristy”.
After from that day she stayed in my house. First-day meeting was amazing because after so many years I had liked someone near to my parents.That time, I have to wake up early to attend my classes(Was doing engineering at that time), so I couldn’t have time to watch her all day, but that happiness of meeting and watching her “जब म साझ घर पुग्थे ” ।
In the classes, I used to talk about her to my classmates and they used to say “त पागल भैसकिस”,
But I knew that it was different love, it was not a relationship, it was not a gf/bf bond but it was something extraordinary.
At holidays we used to walk around. All the people in my tole used to pass nearby her and pursued a way of greeting and passing good comments like “Wow she is cute. “.
But one when I was in my college doing some practicals,I got a call from my mom.
“ओइ सुन त, Cristy बिरामी भएकी छे, and she is serious, you have to come and see”.
I was kind of scared ,I immediately rushed to my home ,she was there lying on her bed,
I turned to my mom and asked
“Cristy लाई के भयो Mom, is she okay, भन्नू न Mom”.
She explained to me that she had eaten something poisonous, and now she was in her last stage.
My tears rolled down from my eyes,I started to cry.My legs started to treble,I started to panic.With a great effort, I lumped my footsteps near her. I looked into her eyes, she was crying too,I could see tears in her eyes.She wanted to say something but she was numb at that time. I pulled her from the bed and hugged her to my chest saying ” त आको कति नै भाको थियो र Cristy,तलाइ जब घरमा लेरआइयो सबैभन्दा बढी I was excited. तलाइ देख्ने बितिकै तेरो एउटा छाप मेरो मनमा बसिसकेको थियो । म जब जब college जान्थे everytime I want to meet you,तर त सङ खेल्न सक्थेन,तलाइ हरेक चोटि घुमाउन सक्थेन,म घर आउँदा कति मायाले त मेरो नजिक आउन्थिस । नबोले पनि तेरो आँखा मा देखिन्थ्यो you missed me too.तैले खाना नखाए सम्म म नि खाना खादैन्थे । मेरो साथी कोहि थिएन जसलाई म कुरा Share गर्न सकुम ,एउटा तै थिइस अब त नि मलाई छोडेर जादैछस । दुनियाँले तलाइ कुकुर भनेर चिन्ता पनि, मैले आफ्नो एउटा परिवारको सदस्य झै मान्छु । मलाई छोडेर नजा cristy.”
My shirt was spotted with her tears too, that time maybe she didn’t understand my language, Maybe she didn’t understand what I said to her, but what I understood was ” उसलाई नि थाहा थियो he is too crying for me”.
After she rolled her eyes onto me and left this world.I don’t know where she is now, but she is always in my heart. She was my dog Cristy and today was the day when she has died.

PS: People will say “यहाँ मान्छे मर्दा त केही हुदैन तर जाबो कुकुर मर्दा किन यति नाटक,”
then for you guys “THEY ARE NOT HUMANS I KNOW, BUT THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN HUMANS DO”. 😊

#Stories

Perfect Or Imperfect Relationship

Guessing some day I started to visualize that something is missing out in so-called relationships, So at last, I came to conclusion what I actually need in a relationship.
With all due respect, I do not want a relationship that is only filled with magic and lovable gestures. I do not want a relationship that is established on perfectness and only it shows to the outside world.
I actually do not want a perfect relationship. I want one that is not fake.
I need particles. I want the good and the bad, for finer and for worse.
I want genuinely be felt all of the tears and all of the smiles. I want that warm hugs and the loving kisses and the hectic arguments that end in silence.
Yes, I admit that actual truth is, no relationship is perfect. No relationship can stand against the severe and hard situations. No relationship can be a roof when rain strikes on the foundation of the house. No relationship is unbreakable. Every relationship breaks down. Every relationship goes through tough times. And every relationship has to go through those tough days in order to make their love life trustable.
It is the effort you put everything to make a relationship work. It is the fight that will make the difference, and the cost of those tears that water the plants you planted a long time ago.
And we all deserve relationships that shines.
I do not want a quiet relationship. I do not want a silent one. I just want a raised voice if that is what is going to get us to grow. I want that passion in relationship and growth voices that actually care. I want a relationship that may fall down, but also can grow back together step by step.
I want a relationship that will survive.
I do not care for perfectness, good face, sexy legs, and figures. I do not care for politeness, charmless and light white lies to make another person feel better.
All I want is to hear someone who will shout at me, but not whisper. I just want them to scream out their feelings for me, but not to grow silent. Actually, the problem is, I am done with these so-called half ass relationships that always end up making a life doom. I am done with relationships that refuse to take a part of our lives to theirs.
I literally want that kind of relationship which will make my body cell vibrant. I want that kind of relationship which will make my veins run as a wind, whenever I will sit with that person. What I want are passion and particle.
I do not need the so-called picture portrait relationship. We should know It is not a real representation of love. Damn man, it is not even close.
Searching for the perfect love will only leave you alone once again. Searching for the perfect relationship will only get you far. So, better search the imperfection. Start to wait and watch for the fire. And try to find that love which is not broken over with some whispers and false hope. Try to find love that is actually in all its beauty and all its defects.😊
#Stories

Menstruation is not a sin

आमा म सक्दैन यो पुषे जाडोमा बाहिर बस्न ।
बाबा म सक्दैन यो परालको बिस्तरामा आफ्नो निन्द्रा पूरा गर्न ।
भाइले कति मिठो मिठो खान पाउदैछ,तर म त्यो सुकेको रोटी चबाउन नि सक्दैन ।
आमा ७ दिन यो मर्ने जाडोमा रात कसरी कटाउने,कसरी आफ्नो मनलाइ सान्त पारेर हजुरहरुलाइ तातोमा सुतेको हेर्ने ।
के मेरो अधिकार् छैन त,के मैले ७ दिन पैला जसरी सुत्न पाउदैन र ।
म कम्जोर हुन्छु किन बुझ्नु हुदैन , मेरो रगत जता बाट झरे नि के त्यो मेरो गल्ती हो र बाबा ।
आखिर म ७ दिन कसरी असुध भए र आमा,भगवती माताले पनि के यसरी नै बाहिर रात बिताकी थिइन र आमा ।
ए बिर्सेछु ,उहाँ त भगवान है,वहाँलाई नै असुध हुन्छ भनेर मैले यसरी रातभर आफ्नो पिडा लुकाएर बिहान काममा निस्किनु पर्ने हैन त।
दिउँसो भरी पेटको दुखाइ सहेर पनि हामीले कडा घाममा त्यत्रो कामहरु गर्नु पर्छ । के त्यो अत्याचार होइन र ??
ल माने म असुध हुन्छु होला,तर कुनै कोठाको कुना तिर मलाई सुत्न दिए घर नै कसरी असुध हुन्छ र ??
आमा हजुर भन्नुहुन्छ “यो त संस्कृति हो,जहाँ सबैले यस्तो गर्छन्,यो त पुर्व्जहरुको आदेश हो,यो परम्परा हो,यसलाई नकार्नु हुदैन,नत्र पाप लाग्छ “।
यो कस्तो परम्परा हो आमा जहाँ कसैलाई दुख दिएर उसको प्रान्ण जाने गर्छ । यो कस्तो जिद्दी पन हो जहाँ एउटा रगतको लागि परालमा सुताइन्छ , ७ दिन सम्म एउटा पशु जस्तै व्यहार गर्ने गरिन्छ । यो प्रथा त अरु ठाँउ छैन त आमा,यो परम्परा अरु ठाँउ लोप भैसक्यो त आमा, बरु यसको बारेमा सहरिया दिदीले कस्तो राम्रोसँग बुझाउदै हुनुहुन्थ्यो । उहाँको कुरा सुनेर त अलिक दयनीय भैइदिनु न । अब छोड दिनु यो “छाउ पडि प्रथालाइ “।
बाच्न दिनु ती सात दिन हामीलाई जसरी हामीलाइ बाच्न मन लाग्छ । खान दिनु ती सात दिन हामीलाई जे खाने मन लाग्छ ।
म एउटा नारी नछुने हुनसक्छु तर म बाहिर बस्न सक्दैन । 😊
मलाई नि बाच्न देउ ।
#Stories